They All Leave
by Insert a Catchy Penname Here
Summary: Inevitably, children are extremely curious creatures. All seven children came to Toriel. All of them left, but Toriel never did.
1. Vacillation

They All Leave 

**Author Note:** Greetings. I am Catchy. =)

(Pardon the exceptionally ridiculous introduction. I have begun re watching Jacksepticeye's Undertale episodes and that was the first thing that came to mind. Anyway.)

I have been having a lot of fun writing my story _Not One, but Seven_ , which chronicles Asgore's accounts of the seven human children that fell and died pre-Frisk. Last night, I was inspired to write another story from Toriel's point of view. This fic goes hand in hand with it, but it is not neccecary to I hope you all enjoy, and please remember to review!

As inspired by Randomcat1832, this for my own reference: _193rd story, 2nd Undertale._

* * *

Some monsters were born with maternal instincts than others. Some wanted to be self sufficient and live alone while others wanted nothing more than to reproduce and raise a family together. Though she wanted the latter, Toriel completed both of these things several times in her life.

She, of course, never meant to do more than one. But she supposed it was simply her load to bear as a capable mother and didn't resist it further.

It all began and ended with her husband. When she met Asgore, he was tending to the garden in the park and offering hot tea he'd made before arriving to the public. She decided to accept his offer and they talked for hours, eventually parting with each other's phone numbers and plans to see each other again later in the week. They continued this for nearly a year before finally getting married, and she decided on that day she couldn't be happier if she tried.

Even after the war was over and they were banished underneath the surface to watch over what was left of their kind, she was still undeniably content in her marriage, and the thought of leaving him never crossed her mind. If anything, the circumstances brought them closer.

The next happiest day of her life was the day their son, their beautiful little Asriel, was brought into the world. She'd been extremely careful with her pregnancy, constantly talking and dreaming about what he'd be like once he was born. She'd been documenting it religiously as well, her heart growing all the fonder for her husband.

Asriel was just as beautiful as she'd dreamed, and they raised him with compassion and positive reinforcement to create an endearing child that was adored by the entirety of the Underground. As he got older, she began letting him wander their home alone. She knew he'd be pacifistic toward anybody who may have a problem, and he'd never given her reason to believe he couldn't resolve any issue he encountered with words or kind gestures.

She was less surprised than her husband when he carried in an injured human child and insisted they take of them.

Chara was a very intense child. They walked with a sense of pride about them, their dark red eyes always gleaming and reflecting some kind of emotion. They were not afraid of much, of this she was certain. But they were very much afraid of what they did fear, and she took great care in making them feel safe and protected with the rest of her little family. Her Gorey was busy with kingly obligations and her Asriel was too young and restless to always cater to his friend's- practically his sibling's- many issues, so she was there when nobody would or could be.

"My child?" She ventured softly as she stood outside of their bedroom.

They offered no response and their door did not open, so she carefully opened it and peeked inside. As she expected, Chara had their knees up to their chest and had their arms around their legs, hiding their face.

"Go away," they mumbled unhappily. "I don't want to talk. I'm not hungry."

"That is alright," she replied patiently. "May I merely sit with you instead? I have some reading to do and do not want to be alone."

"...Fine."

"We could also go to the fireplace instead?" She offered cautiously. "It is very cold in here, don't you think?"

Now they looked up, and she saw the whites of their eyes were pink and swollen. "How would you know? You have fur."

She gave them a small smile. "You're very funny, my child. But if I'm cold, then surely you're more so?"

Chara hesitated visibly once more before slowly holding their legs over the edge of the bed, as if to get up. They then cringed again and looked to her with a deep sadness in their eyes, one that said they _would_ , but something inside them made them unable to do so. The goat mother knew then this little creature had experienced great suffering with the humans, and the extent of the damage could not be healed so easily.

"Would you be alright if I held your hand?" She suggested. "That way we both know we're not alone on this journey."

"B...But we're just going to the living room," they muttered, the self hatred evident in their voice. "It shouldn't be such a big deal."

"But it is to you, and that's alright," Toriel insisted kindly. "Nobody should ever feel alone, especially not in their family. I will guide you to a place that's safe and warm."

She extended her paw and her adopted child carefully accepted it, slowly getting to their feet and following her. They did this activity more often the longer Chara lived with them, especially after Asgore fell terribly ill from an accident in their cooking with Asriel. To their father and brother, they merely laughed it off and insisted they go away from the house to play for the days after.

But Toriel saw them when the other half of their family was asleep, when they sat in front of the fireplace and stared into the flames. They obviously had a lot on their mind, and they often wore an admittedly disturbing smile on their face when they did this. She took to draping a blanket around them and feeding them either chocolate or butterscotch pie, and in response, they typically hugged and thanked her when they finally emerged from their troubled state.

Perhaps her Chara was a bit strange and her family was non conventional. But it was hers, and she was determined to keep them together and happy. Then Chara got sick and things began to unravel too quickly for her to roll up the pieces.

...

"Mom."

"Y-yes, my child?"

She was sat on the edge of Chara's bed, her paw softly rubbing circles into her child's stomach. She knew they'd been in such pain ever since growing so terminally ill, so she was doing her best to alleviate it now. Her sweet little Asriel had naturally never left their sibling's side, and now they were curled up next to them in fatigued, restless sleep.

"Would you resent me if I left?" They asked wearily.

"Left?" She had a terrible feeling she already knew they meant, but she had to clarify for the sake of her heart. "Where would you go?"

"I...I mean giving up, Mom," they muttered. "If I died."

A surge of pain went through her heart and tears threatened in her eyes, but she willed them down for now. She had to be strong for her children if this was among on their last moment's. She couldn't let them see how much it hurt, and how lonely and destroyed she'd be without them. They needed to know they were loved regardless of what happened.

"No, my child. You've been so ill," she managed in a soft, even voice. "I do not _want_ you to die, but...But if you decide to let go, I will understand. So will your brother and father."

"How can you be so sure?" They opened their eyes briefly now, their irises shiny with tears and pain. "How do you know?"

"Because I know them," she said gently. "And we all know you. We know you've lived much life in your short time. We know you're kind and we know you love us, and you wouldn't give up that determination to live if there was any other way. We know you'll live on spirit, even when you're no longer physically here with us."

A faint smile graced Chara's lips before pain contorted their pale face once more, and they closed their eyes once more. "Can you bring me more water?"

"Of course."

As she retrieved the glass of liquid, she could no longer hold back the sob building in the back of her throat. She couldn't bear the thought of living without one of her babies, but there was no other way if they felt it was time for them to pass on. She'd feel worse if they felt like they had to hold on for their sake when they were in so much agony, so she couldn't regret what she'd just told them other than the terrible loneliness that would come without them.

In all honesty, she wasn't positive Asgore or Asriel would share the same sentiment immediately, but eventually she had to believe they would. At the very least, _Chara_ had to believe they would.

...

"You can't give up just yet! You are the fate between humans and monsters. Chara...Stay determined..."

Her husband had become desperate since their child fell into a comatose state two days prior. He was pleading with their unconscious state now, the tears slowly gliding down his face as he leaned over them. She sat on the other edge of the bed, one paw resting on Asriel's back as he continued to stay beside his best friend.

"They wanted to see the flowers above ground, Mom," her son finally said. "I think I should take them across the barrier to see them."

She dreaded telling her surviving child that their sibling was likely never going to wake up, and that the flowers would likely have to be their final resting place. Before she could try and manage an explanation, he reached forward and took their limp hand in his own.

"I...I don't feel a heartbeat," he said in a wavering voice. "I...I think they're gone."

Almost as if on cue, a small heart-shaped SOUL lifted out of their chest, glowing a passionate red color. She let out a heartbroken cry immediately and her husband pulled her to his chest, his own tears dampening her fur. Out of instinct, she pulled both of her children into the hug at once, all three of their family cradling Chara's lifeless body one more time as they cried together.

...

She was unable to show Asriel the same composure when he died in their arms. She was hysterical as she tried to comfort him, and wept as they tried to talk about the time they'd had together as a family. Once he'd stopped breathing and succumbed to his injuries, she carried her two children alone and buried them together in the Ruins, right underneath where Chara had first fallen.

Asgore had since stopped trying to constantly comfort her and now absorbed himself in his work, so she was left to continue her motherly duties with no child to mother. She couldn't bear the thought of replacing her babies, but the loneliness was numbing and pushed her to unhealthy methods of coping until she finally developed a new idea that helped her stop drinking and binge eating.

Chara was likely on the first of many human children to fall. Surely there would be more in a matter of time, and she could take care of them once they did.

Asgore had declared a war on humanity, and talked of destroyed any humans that fell down. But she could not, she _would not_ , allow that. If that meant losing what was left of her family and starting again, she decided she no longer minded.


	2. Idle

They all Leave: Idle

 **Author Note:** This isn't a Trigger Warning as much as a heads up that part of the birthing process happens in this chapter. Nothing very detailed or uncomfortable in my opinion, but thought I'd let you all know just in case~

* * *

She wasn't sure what she was waiting for. She'd gotten the idea to care for any human that may or may not fall down to the Underground from the day her children perished on, but it had been many years and she couldn't be sure that opportunity would ever arise. After all, her husband _had_ declared definite war against the entire human race, and had openly promised to slay any who fell down. What reason could a human from the Surface have to come Underground, anyway?

She and Asgore had become extremely distant in the years that passed, but she didn't hate him. Far from it, actually. She just wanted her husband and babies back, but he'd only grown more secretive and closed off from her concerns. He spent nearly all of his time with his royal scientist, the mysterious W.D. Gaster, and while she was glad their friendship kept him sturdy, she wished she could fill in that void herself.

"Queen Toriel!" One of the local lapine monsters greated happily as she walked through the snowy terrains of Snowdin.

"Greetings, child," she spoke in her usual gentle, quiet voice. "How are you doing on this lovely winter day?"

"Lovely winter day?" The young monster scoffed briefly before reddening, ducking her head to their superior. "I mean...Every day is winter here, ma'am. I don't think there's really anything lovely about it."

"Do not apologize for being honest," she soothed. "I would rather you be honest than fake just become I'm the queen. Is there anything I do to make your day more pleasurable?"

The youth considered this for a moment before breaking out into a toothy grin. "Yeah! Be sure to tell King Asgore we all really appreciate what he's doin', declaring war on humanity and stuff. Mom says things are gonna get a lot better when we get out of here!"

An ache surged through her heart; to hear a child talk so gleefully against warfare was awful to hear. "I am...Glad you are happy about that, sweet child. But please remember that violence is not always the answer. As a matter of fact, it is often not. Please remember to be kind when you can, and only violent when you must. Alright?"

"Yes ma'am!" She chirped excitedly and threw her arms around her waist, nuzzling into her robe contently. "You're so warm!"

"Oh, you are sweet," the queen replied happily, gently lifting her into her arms and hugging her close. "Have a lovely day, little one. Be good, alright?"

"I will!" With that she bounded off, and the royal gave a gentle smile in her wake. Despite how bleak things could be in their dismal circumstances, there was still innocence and hope.

She walked across the frozen terrain a bit longer before stopping at the end of the bridge. At the end of the trail carved by many monster feet of days past, there was an area that most of the Underground's inhabitants had abandoned when they realized there more options of living. They called it the RUINS these days, she believed, though it'd once been referred to as 'HOME'. She never truly understood why people seemed to dislike it so much; it could be considered small, but it was homely.

"Queen Toriel, Queen Toriel!" The small monster she'd spoken to earlier was suddenly tugging on her dress, a wild and desperate look in her youthful eyes. "Please, come quickly! It's my mom! She's givin' birth to my baby sister, but she's doing real bad and I thought you could help-!"

Birth a child? She'd birthed her Asriel, of course, but she'd never had any experience with doing it with another monster. This child was desperate and it was obvious so was her family, however, so as their queen she vowed to do her best as she followed her back into town.

The mother was obviously in a lot of pain, and the sight of her husband crying and clutching onto her in despair broke her heart. The scene was a stark contrast to her loving and gentle husband supporting her, even when it look longer than it could have. She owed it to the midwife she'd had, a Washua monster that cleaned them up thoroughly and kept everything orderly and sanitary. With all of the mess currently around them all, Toriel was very sure she couldn't be as thorough, but she could still try.

"There, there, my friends," she coaxed as she knelt in place. "I will do my best to assist you. I only have my own birth to reference, but I will do everything I can. Little one, please go fetch some snow and a bin. What are your names?"

"W-we're the Hoppkins," the husband stuttered warily.

"Alright. Mister Hoppkins, I'm going to need to take some deep breaths and start some water to boil. Mrs. Hoppkins, I'm going to need you to breathe deeply and push..."

 **...**

It was a long and painful process for all of them involved, but Mrs. Hoppkins did deliver a screaming baby into the world in the wee hours of the morning. Asgore hadn't bothered to call in the span of that time, but W.D Gaster had sent one of his followers to check on her, so she supposed that could count. Now she was resting back and holding the older sister- Navy- in her lap as the proud parents cradled their dark purple child.

"She's beautiful," Mrs. Hoppkins whispered. "Thank you, Queen Toriel. We couldn't have done it without you."

"You are a very strong family," Toriel responded kindly. "She's a beautiful little girl. What ever will you name here?"

"Magenta," Mr. Hoppkins replied proudly. "This little one is going to carry on the shop legacy. Little Navy here wants to be a guard for the king, don't you?"

"Yeah! Gonna save the Underground!" Navy crooned eagerly before looking back at Toriel with a smile. "But I'm not gonna hurt anyone unless I really have too, right?"

"Very good, child," she replied with a proud smile. "Why don't you hold your sister? I really must be on my way."

"Yes ma'am!" She chirped eagerly and walked over to her parents, carefully holding the infant in her arms.

"Really, thank you. If there is any way we can repay you, please do let us know," Mrs. Hoppkins insisted softly. "This is the greatest gift we could have ever received."

"It was my pleasure, ma'am," the queen stated gently. "Just please be sure to be kind to everyone you meet regardless of species, alright? Even when it is not easy or what everyone wants to do."

"We'll do our best, ma'am. Have a wonderful rest of the night," Mr. Hoppkins assured. "Would you like an escort back to the New Home?"

"I'm alright, thank you. Enjoy your little Magenta and Navy."

As she walked home, memories of her own birth flooded her mind. Asriel was the best thing she could ask for, and even though she didn't produce Chara, it never made a difference in the end. Becoming a stand-in midwife had filled her with great grief for her lost offspring, but it also filled her with an intense sense of purpose and belonging. Perhaps she could look into that in the future; if no human was to ever fall, she help persevere young lives in another way.

* * *

Asgore was sitting in his personal sitting chair was she walked into their living room about a month after her midwife experience in Snowdin. He had a very somber look on his face, but she ignored it enough to kiss him. It'd been so long since he'd come out to socialize with her by the fireplace, and it filled her with hope that things would finally get better between them.

"Good morning, Gorey," she greeted gently. "Would you like some pie?"

"Of course," he agreed with a small smile that quickly disappeared. "But I really need to speak with you first. It is of great importance."

"Very well, dear." She sat down in her own chair and looked to him with maternal concern. "Please, tell me what is on your mind."

"Well...You recall how I declared war on humanity, correct?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

He winced a little before continuing. "Well, it's been a long time since that decree was made. And recently, another young human fell into the Underground."

"A young human?" She repeated with a sense of dread rising in her heart. "How young are you saying?"

"...She was younger than both Chara and Asriel."

Toriel's heart leaped at once; another child had fallen down after all. They could take this little girl in and raise them, become parents again and protect her in all the ways they'd failed their Asriel and Chara. It was finally time to start anew.

"Wait..." She spoke as her grin slowly faded from her lips. "You said _was_. How long ago did she fall down? Where is she now?"

He didn't answer immediately, and the sense of dread seemed to engulf her SOUL as she rose to her feet to stand over him. "Asgore, _where is she._ "

"You recall the earthquake that rocked the Underground about a week ago, I'm sure," he finally said in a low, grave voice. "When she fell down, I let her remain in the Ruins. She got trapped in a small area behind a massive boulder."

"And you did not rescue her?" She demanded sharply.

"No, I did not. She has perished since then and is now in our throne room," he admitted. "We need her SOUL to cross the barrier, Toriel, you know that."

"She was younger than our children, Asgore!" She yelled shamelessly, her paws curling into fists as her fire magic formed in her palms. "She was merely a child and let her die, just like that? All for her innocent little SOUL?!"

"It was necessary, Tori!" He pleaded, but she was hearing none of it. "Think of the greater good-!"

"I do not _care_ about the greater good!" She shouted before he could finish, something she'd never done before. "I do not care if it meant saving the life of a little girl! You are...You are a desperate, miserable creature if you think there is any justification to what you have done! You disgust me! You may never refer to me as 'Tori' ever again!"

With that she fled the room, halting as she found the tiny creature's body laying in the flower bed of their throne room. He was correct; she could not have been more than four or five years of age, barely a child in human standards and hardly a baby in monster years. She had a small ribbon tied in her dark hair, her small face pale and void of circulation as she laid with her tiny hands crossed over her stationary chest. The childless monster fell to her knees at once, tears pouring from her eyes as she carefully lifted the baby into her arms.

She'd failed yet again.

* * *

"You cannot leave!" Her 'husband' pleaded with her as she stood before him, her chin held high as she held her two large bags in each of her paws. "You are the Queen of the Underground! People love you, they need you! I... _I_ love and need you!"

"If you loved me," she stated in a cold voice. "You would not have allowed little Tally to perish. Goodbye."

With that she exited New Home for the final time, the tears forming in her eyes only after she was well into Hotland. She felt void of any purpose in life, empty without her former family. She'd thought once long ago she would not care if she had to start over, but that it was here, she wasn't sure if she could go through with it. As much as she hated it, her love for Asgore could be eradicated so simply. It would take much dedication to these feelings to make them fully reality, but she was determined to never love him again. He did not deserve it.

"Your Majesty." W.D Gaster was before her suddenly, appearing like a ghost from seemingly nowhere. "I know you are very upset. But please, won't you reconsider? Asgore is a mighty king, but I am not positive he rule the Underground the most effectively without you. Perhaps you could change his mind about his ruling about the human kind."

"I doubt it," she responded flatly. "I have tried many times. If he does show some mercy to a new human, be sure to alert me. But as far as he and the rest of the Underground is concerned, no longer am I 'Queen Toriel.' I am simply Toriel."

"Where will you go?" He asked calmly, his expression never faltering. "You will be recognized and idolized anywhere."

"I will figure it out," she replied in a cool tone. "Goodbye to you as well."

She walked throughout the day, into the night, and only paused to rest in the early dawn. She was at Snowdin currently, and she sat in a sturdy pile of ice, she realized she was in the place she'd become a pseudo-midwife. The Hoppkins were likely inside now to run their shop, or more likely, were still asleep. She would not disturb this, but right before she went on her way, she saw the light come on and two small pairs of eyes peeking out from under the window. It was nice to see Navy and Magenta were doing well.

When she reached the RUINS, she set to work on building a door out of the materials she found from inside. The place was still homely, and with the population being so reclusive, she was sure they'd either not recognize her or grow to not care. This was the beginning of a new Toriel, one that midwifed when she was called and protected those around her.

Truly, she would prefer this one from now on. And when the next human fell, she was going to harbor them and keep them safe from Asgore's rule. She was going to be a mother again if she died trying.


	3. Diffidence

They all Leave: Diffidence

She'd enjoyed snails before, but living in the RUINS had given them a new refinery. After all, she was constantly cooking with them, so she'd learned and invented new recipes that made eating them almost every night enjoyable. Her home was small but it was peaceful, and in all of the years, the inhabitants had grown to merely call her 'Toriel' and appreciate the intense protection she provided. Most recently, she'd helped with the incubation and hatch of several Taddits, or Baby Froggits. They were her company along with their parents, and while seeing a family so content made her happy, it served as a sharp reminder she had an obligation to fulfill once the next human fell down.

It took quite some time, but eventually, one did. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she opened up her front door to find a small boy nearly fully doubled over, his lightly colored hair in a tangled mess despite being held back his bandanna.

"Oh, little child!" She said in a small gasp, her paws trembling subtly as she reached to steady him. "Are...Are you alright?"

"Don't touch me!" He snipped warily, but when he looked up at her hurt expression, his glare softened. "I mean...I'm hurt. Please, can you help me..."

"Of course," she reassured immediately. "But I'm going to need to be able to touch you to do so. Will you please trust me?"

"...Yes ma'am. And I'm not little, okay? I'm nine years old!"

"Ah, my mistake," she agreed with a small chuckle to herself. He was must like Asriel when he was in one of his 'tough' moods. "What is your name, little- I mean big- one?"

"Akin," he responded wearily as she lifted him into her arms, one paw gently cradled his orange-colored SOUL as she restored his HP. "Who...?"

"My name is Toriel," she told him confidently. "I am the Caretaker of the Ruins, and I will protect you for the rest of your time. Come, let us go inside. Would you like to try some snail pie?"

"No thanks..." He mumbled into her shoulder, and she could feel his grimace. "Mostly...just..."

He was fast asleep by the time he could finish his statement, and she could feel the tears in her eyes as she carried him back to her children's old room. It was bittersweet as she laid in in Asriel's old bed, but she had a feeling it would be what he wanted for her now. Even still, she wiped the tears from her eyes as she brought a small golden flower from the hallway decorations to the bed stand by the sleeping human. She couldn't place why, but somehow, it reminded her of the son she lost and gave her hope for the one she'd gained.

 **...**

"It is incredible that you survived the Ruins so long without my guidance," Toriel mused as she sat with the nine year old in the living room, his legs crossed as he eagerly ate whatever she gave him. "You must have been so frightened."

"Nah," he mumbled around the pie in his mouth before taking a big swig of milk. "I'm never scared."

"No?" She inquired with a knowing smile. "You know, being brave has nothing to do with never being frightened."

He frowned hard now, sticking the last bits of his dinner in his mouth and finishing off his beverage before speaking. "It doesn't? What do you mean?"

"Well, being brave means that you're terrified to do something, but you do it because it will benefit many people to do so," she explained, gently patting her lap as she settled back in her chair. "Even if it only benefits yourself, it is still something you did despite your hesitance. Do you understand now, my child?"

"Your child?" He repeated, but he was smiling softly as he climbed into her lap. "Well...Yeah, Mom. I think I understand."

Her heart swelled in her chest as she pulled out the old green comb that hadn't been used for years, gently brushing his hair down before re-securing his bandanna. This day had gone like a dream, her desire to finally have someone to love and mother from now on finally fulfilled by a driven, bold child. Part of her worried deeply for his nature, feared for him being harmed or even killed over his reckless attitude. She quickly silenced that part of herself, however; he'd made it all the way to her home with minor injuries, and he was so relaxed now, she doubted he'd ever want anything more than be a pacifist.

"Might I ask why you've come so far, my child?" She inquired as she gazed into the fire beside them. "Coming down here is no small task, especially to do alone."

"Everyone says that people who climb up Mt. Ebott never return," he explained with a smirk. "I wanted to prove them wrong, just to show them they were all a bunch of big babies. Turns out they were right, but I don't mind what I found, y'know? Too bad I can't rub it in their faces."

The memory of her husband flashed in her mind briefly; he'd kill any human that he found, but if Akin never left, he couldn't harm him. "Well, it is for the best anyway. Why would you want to associate with people who cause you distress?"

He considered it for a moment before nodding, stretching out against her. "Guess you're right. I'm stuffed."

"Would you like to take a nap?" She encouraged softly, not at all surprised when he screwed up his face.

"No way!" He protested, his complaints interrupted briefly with a yawn that he tried to swallow. "I said I'm stuffed, not sleepy! You can't make me!"

"Of course not, my child," she assured at once, carefully picking up the book she'd been reading before his arrival. "You are free to do as you please. I am simply going to read this book."

He squinted at her, then at the pages for a few moments before sighing. "...Can you read it to me?"

"Of course, my child. Did you know that a snail can live up to twenty five years in the wild?"

* * *

She'd been keeping count of the amount of days it'd been since Akin came to give her new life. This day marked seven months since he'd arrived, and as she was marking the day on her calender, she realized it was going to be time to manufacture a new one. The monsters had no way of keeping up the years any other way, so they referenced the few that'd been salvaged right before their banishment to continue making the new ones had accurate as people. She'd grabbed the most recent before leaving New Home, of course, so she set it before her as she began drawing up the newest one.

"Hey Mom," Akin greeted enthusiastically from the doorway. "I'm gonna go play with the Taddits- Wait, what are you doing?"

"Making this coming year's calender," she replied with a smile. "You're free to go with your friends, but you're welcome to help me if you want."

He sauntered over and squinted at the calender before her before snorting out a laugh. "Mom, that's not the right year! That was like...Forty years ago!"

A blush made his way onto her cheeks, hopefully covered by her thick white fur as she giggled. "Oh, what a silly mistake to make! You must forgive me, child. I am an old woman and I often do not check on specific details. Would you mind fetching the most recent calender from near the basement stairs? It should be sitting there if I recall correctly."

"Sure thing!"

Once he'd raced off to complete his task, she flipped back to a familiar month, the one her dear Chara had come to them. Sure enough there the date was, circled in red as plainly as day. She was grateful her child had noticed her blunder- to lose this would be like losing her dear offspring all over again, and she was not certain her heart could take that.

"Found it!" A calender was suddenly covering it, revealing her grinning son. "What were you looking at so intensely? It looked like you were about to cry...Is everything alright?"

She managed a small smile as she sat up properly, bringing him to her chest at once despite his small protests. "Oh, my dearest boy. There is much I have not told you that you the right to know."

At these words he stopped his playful fussing, his dark blue eyes meeting her brown ones curiously. "Like what?"

"Well...Before you came to me, I had two other children," she explained, the weight on her heart growing heavier as she finally spoke of them aloud. "Their names were Asriel and Chara. They were very wonderful children, very obedient and always wanting nothing more than to help people. I doubt either of them could harm a soul, even if they tried. My former husband, Asgore, and I loved them very much, and we were a content little family. But one day, our beloved Chara grew ill and perished."

She paused for a moment, gazing into her son's wide eyes. He claimed to rarely be afraid, but while he deserved the truth, he deserved shelter just as much.

"Asriel died soon after," she continued. "His illness was...sudden. Nobody could have predicted it. After their deaths, Asgore declared war on humanity because he was so upset about losing his children, he wanted to hurt any more that came here."

"That's crazy," the now ten-year-old stated with a frown. "That makes no sense, either. What a wacko."

"I agree," she assured with a small smile and a kiss to his cheek. "You see, that's why I live away from the rest of the Underground. I wanted to keep anyone who fell safe from him."

"So what does that have to do with this date circled?" He inquired as he pushed away the newer calender.

"That was the day that Chara came to us," she responded with a sad smile. "You need to know that Chara was not a monster like us. They were every bit as human as you are."

"Wow. No wonder you know so much about us!" He declared after a moment of reflective silence, springing to his feet. "That's so cool! You really _are_ the best mom any kid could ask for!"

Her blush deepened as well as her smile. "You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say such a thing, my Akin. As a matter of fact, I believe you deserve an extra slice of pie tonight. How does that sound?"

He pumped his fist in the air and cheered, taking off for the door and pausing suddenly right before he dashed out. "...Hey, Mom?"

"Yes, my child?"

"...What if Asriel and Chara didn't get sick, and they were still with you? What would you have done with me? Would Asgore have still killed me?"

"We would have been a family still, my dear." She had to swallow the lump of longing in her throat before answering, but she still managed a sad smile for his sake. "I'm sure you would have loved each other. Run along to your friends now; you don't want to keep the waiting, right?"

* * *

Part of her initially regret telling him about her past. After all, it could've frightened him, or made him feel like he wasn't safe in her paws. Nothing could have prepared her for the day she walked into her kitchen and found him with an empty pie tin in his eyes and a sad expression of his face when she caught him.

"My child, if you were hungry you could have just told me," she chided gently. "I could have made you something with more substance. Now your breakfast is spoiled."

"I just wanted to have one last great meal from you," he explained as he wiped away the crumbs from his blushing face. "Mom...I'm leaving the Ruins today. And I'm not coming back until that Asgore bastard is dead."

She took shocked to reprimand him for his foul language; leave the safety of the RUINS? "I cannot allow that, Akin. There are many monsters outside of this area who would gladly kill you just to appease the king. You cannot exit."

"I've made up my mind, Toriel," he stated with finality. "It isn't right what he wants to do to my kind. We wouldn't stand for it on the Surface, so I'm sure as heck not going to tolerate here. I'm going to go to wherever his furry butt is and kick all the way to next week!"

"You know I dislike it when you get so violent." She wanted to construct his character to be more gentle, but she was so _tired_ at the mention of her ex.

"You want to it too!" He suddenly yelled, an accusing index finger pointing at her. "You want him to pay for he's trying to do! I bet he killed the last kid who came up here too, at least now that I think about it...Didn't he!"

"M...my child-"

"Didn't. He?!" Akin's eyes were lit up with passion, and it was at that moment she realized that no matter how much she pleaded and bargained with her preteen, he would not change his mind.

"...Yes. He did. And I hate him all the more for it, just as much or more than you do."

"Called it!" He declared fiercely, pulling his glove more securely over his dominant hand. "It's time to make him pay, Mom. But don't worry- I'll be back before you know it!"

"He is extremely powerful, my child. I cannot allow you to go alone," she insisted in a pained voice. "You...You will die."

"No I won't!" He insisted, taking her larger paws in his hands. "You have to trust me like you always have, okay? I'll kick his furry hind end and come right back to you. I made it through the entire Ruins without any idea how things worked around here, and I've only gotten stronger in the time we've lived together. Please let me go."

She hesitated; she refused to try and fight him with her magic, so she supposed this was her only option now. "Very well. But if you have not returned within the next three days, I am coming after you to check. Do you understand me?"

"Roger Roger!" He announced proudly, throwing his arms around her at once. "I'm going to make you so proud!"

"I already am, my child," she whispered as she embraced him tightly. "...Please, my dear Akin. Be good."

 **...**

Three days came and went with no word from her son. When she opened the heavy door open for the first time in multiple decades, she was alarmed to find a guard of her husband's already standing there. There was no telling how long he'd been in wait, but as much as she wanted to invite him in to warm him, she didn't want to associate with any part of her old life.

"May I help you?" She inquired tightly instead.

The grave tone the guardsmen told her the news she'd been dreading did not help his cause. She merely let out a heartbroken sob and pushed him away when he tried to offer comfort, shoving the door shut and binding it with as many locks as she could find. Yet again another child had fallen down only to die, and it was her foolish belief that Asgore could change or Akin's bravery would be enough to live on that was to blame. She'd failed in every sense of the word, and the realities only began sinking in after nearly a month post his perishing.

She could no longer tell those who fell of Chara, Asriel, Tally, or even Akin. She wouldn't let them know there was a way out of the Underground. She'd act as though she was just a motherly woman who loved to take care of children; nothing more, nothing less. It wouldn't be a total lie, after all; she could no longer identify with who she once was.


	4. Duplicity

They all Leave: Duplicity 

There was no doubt in her mind that she detested everything that Asgore stood for. She wanted so desperately to hate _him_ as much, but that wasn't possible yet. Even after Tally and Akin, she still couldn't help the longing that occasionally throbbed in her SOUL, yearning for forgiveness and new beginnings. The memories of pain and sadness demolished those feelings as quickly as they came, but they always returned.

The Taddits she'd helped bring into the world were nearly Froggits now. She loved to play with them and keep them at her house when their parents were busy, and it had almost been long enough since Akin's demise that she didn't cry when they went back to their home. There were others that she took care of, even to the point she could feel a bit overwhelmed with all of the jittery Whimsums and mischievous Vegatoids, but there were never enough children to make her want to stop what she was doing. She couldn't bear to be alone.

"Miss Toriel, can I go check the flowerbed with you today?" One of the Taddits- Padme- inquired as she made her way toward the door.

"I suppose," she replied with a small, weary smile. "But you must be very quiet. If there _is_ a human there today, we do not want to frighten them."

"Of course!" The youth croaked eagerly, hopping along her side happily as they made the somewhat long trek.

The human was unconscious when they found her. Toriel knew right away that she was older than any of her predecessors- her frame was slightly more defined, her curves beginning to protrude out. She remembered the adult humans they'd all fought so desperately against in the war; she was far from being that old, but she seemed to be more than a child. Perhaps her age could be comparable to the nearing-adulthood aged Padme.

"Whoa," the small monster whispered beside her. "It looks so weird."

"Now, now," she scolded instantly. "Just because someone looks differently than you does not make them weird. You look and act very differently than me, but I have never said you are strange."

"Yes ma'am..." She mumbled, but her shame seemed quickly forgotten as she hopped closer. "What are we gonna do with it?"

"I am going to take _her_ back to my home," she stated purposefully, gently scooping the youth into her arms. "You and your siblings are welcome to stay until your parents finish with their errands, but you must be very quiet."

"I'm sure we can find somewhere else to be," Padme mused. "We don't mind. We all know how much you care about humans."

"Please, dear child..." The goat mother spoke as they neared her home. "Do not tell anyone of her arrival. I know the RUINS is a tight knit community, but after the...Falling down of Akin, I do not want her presence to be well-known until I can ensure her health and safety. Can you all do that for me?"

"You can count on us!"

Once her home was empty of any teenagers, she propped the girl on her armchair. (It's size made her seem very small, but she had to inspect her for damage.) Her dark blue SOUL was in bad shape, indicating just how injured she was by her fall, so Toriel wasted no time healing it. Her thin tights were torn and were coated by dry blood, her feet seemed swollen, and her tutu was filthy, so she carefully cleaned her up the best she could and threw away the ruined fabric.

"Dear child," she whispered affectionately when she finally opened her chocolate-brown eyes. "You are finally awake."

"You..." She mumbled lethargically. "You're not the flower."

"Why, yes, you did fall in a bed of flowers," she explained softly, carefully pulling her hair out of its high bun. "And we are away from there now. My name is Toriel, and I am the Caretaker of the Ruins. You do not need to be afraid of me."

"You expect me to trust that?" The youth grumbled, her eyes fluttering shut again despite her grim expression. "Just because you said it means I immediately believe it?"

"You do not have to, but I will prove that you may and should," she assured, but the girl seemed far from convinced. "May I ask your name?"

"...Maria. Sorry, but I don't give me last name to strangers."

"That is alright, 'Maria' as all I need," she replied evenly. "Would you like to sleep in a proper bed? I don't have much here, but I hope I can make you feel at home."

"After that creepy flower, I'm not really in the mood to trust right away..." Maria murmured, her eyes filling with tears. "I...I am sorry."

"You do not have to apologize, you poor girl," she soothed. "You can sit right here. I...Understand your hesitance to trust me, but you do still need to eat. If I would make you feel better, I could prepare it in front of you. That way you can see for yourself I have nothing to hide."

She grimaced again and pursed her lips thoughtfully before sighing. "But you need a fire to cook. The cushy stuff on the floor would ignite if you started one here."

Toriel simply winked at her, mindfully putting the ingredients on a night stand between both of them. Her newest child never took her eyes off of the work before her despite her evident exhaustion; she supposed she shouldn't be alarmed by the intense inhibitions. After all, Akin was far braver than any creature she'd encountered before (expect perhaps her children), and she'd never truly known Tally. Why wouldn't a child be wary, especially with Asgore's decree looming over both kinds?

"Thank you..." She said nevertheless, slowly taking the full cinnamon pie into her lap and beginning on her feast.

The maternal monster did not bother telling her that the pie was not very nutritious and that she shouldn't eat all of it at once; she had to build trust somehow, and this was proving effective. It was to be expected that the girl would fall asleep soon after consuming about two thirds of the pie, and she did, her breathing unsteady and her chest rising and falling rapidly. She didn't want to move her to a bed and have her upset when she woke again, but the discomfort surely was attributing to the abnormal breathing, so she elected the benefit surely outweighed the cost.

"You have nothing to fear from me," she mused quietly as she settled the small person in her personal bed. "I hope you will learn to live happily here. I can protect you. It will be a small life, but a good one. You will not regret your eventual decision to trust me. I...I want to promise you that, but...For now, I will simply have to trust myself."

* * *

Maria refused to eat snail pie. As a matter of fact, she wouldn't eat anything that had even a trace of meat. She claimed it was cruel to harm any creature, even for personal nourishment, and while the mother appreciated her pacifistic morals, it bothered her that her diet made her adopted offspring look so sick. She eventually convinced her that it was crucial to her personal survival, however, so the disgusted faces eventually stopped during meals.

Having a special-dietary human around proved beneficial to both of them, however. What with her typical diet not suiting her child's wishes, the two of them were always exploring the RUINS, discovering new herbs and vegetables nearly every day. Others worked better than others, of course, but it still created socialization time that made them fairly close by the middle of two weeks.

"This is delicious!" Her girl chirped eagerly now, taking a large bite of the bread loaf in her hands. "I love this! I could eat this for every other meal!"

She chuckled; she certainly was her own person. "But not every meal, my ch- my Maria?"

The young teenager before her made a face at her misspeak; she refused to be called a child because she was 'too old' and 'she had a name', but she didn't say anything further on it. "Well, it would taste bland if I ate it _that_ much, so I'd have to keep some variety so I wouldn't get sick of it."

Humans' taste buds were very different than monsters'; Toriel could eat the same thing for months and not be sick of it, but these humans demanded variety. Even Akin and Chara preferred a varied menu, so the goat mother decided she'd have to be more mindful. It was difficult trying to readjust after all this time, especially to such a blunt youth, but it was worth it to have somebody to consistently wake up to.

"I see," she agreed softly, cleaning up the table top. "I will do my best, child."

"Here, Goat Mom, you should eat some!" The next thing she knew a half of the loaf was before her mouth.

"Oh, no. It is yours. I would not take it from you, especially since you enjoy it so much."

"But you're hungry! I love it so much we should share it, okay?"

She smiled softly and accepted it gently. "Thank you, my Maria."

Once they'd both cleaned up, she expected her to vanish back into the room that had once been her own. Akin had never been so reclusive, but Chara had, so she tried to understand. The poor girl even outright refused to play with the Taddits or any of other charges, but she supposed it may be for the best. How would the Ruins react once they learned of her existence? Would somebody try and turn them in?

The hug was unexpected but welcomed. She was strong- not as strong as Akin, but a lot more fierce than Chara- and she buried her face into her shoulder due to her height. "Yes, my Maria? Is everything alright?"

"Just...Was thinking I'm really lucky to be here," she mumbled. "I came from somewhere that never treated me like you do. I-I guess I don't really kn...know how to show affection and stuff, but I _love_ you, okay?"

"I love you too," she soothed softly, petting her paws down her hair and placing a small kiss on her forehead. "You are my...girl. I would not trade you anything. I hope you understand that."

"You must really be lonely to settle for someone as messed up as me," the younger decided with finality in her voice. "But thank you."

"I would never merely settle!" At the sound of the self deprecation, she pressed her furry forehead to the bare skin of her child's own, their gazes forced to meet. "You are my child. Nobody else's. It does not matter if you came from my own body; you are my Maria and mine alone. Nothing in the past can effect that, not for either of us."

Question gleamed in the dark brown staring back at her, but she seemed to change her mind as she slowly closed them and sighed. "I wish it was that easy. But some things don't go away just because you want them too. The past is important to who we are, for both of us."

This musing from her child kept the mother up late at the night, or at least what the Ruins collectively considered nighttime (since there was no sunlight to truly tell). She wanted to walk around, to try and clear her mind, but her body felt heavier somehow as she stared at the dim fire before her. As much as she wanted to forget Asgore and the life she'd been so desperate to caught off, she felt it everywhere: The way she spoke, the way she groomed herself, she way she walked. Especially in her royal purple shawl she never could seem to get rid off; it reminded her so much of the times she'd wrapped her two children in its warmth when the days grew frigid.

Perhaps the past did have to matter after all. And perhaps she and Maria could learn how to be okay with that, together.

* * *

Loyalty had its limits. Toriel learned this lesson well when her knowledge of Tally was so delayed, but it was reinforced in a way she could hardly fathom.

Maria was right where her note had said she'd be, down the stairs to enjoy the solitude of the hallway. She had always loved to dance, refusing to wear any other shoes for it than the ones she'd fallen in and proudly showing off the 'tutu' that she'd been given as a gift on the six month anniversary of her fall. She often hummed her own tune, notes and melodies from the Surface that she'd retained. Her adoptive mother often saw her squint in concentration, struggling to remember before deciding whatever she could remember would suffice. She wondered if never being able to truly learn how it would have gone made her sad.

Her child had not mentioned she'd be with anyone when she went to practice her 'ballet'. The goat-esque monster had been looking after her Taddits so long, it typically didn't surprise her when they came to visit, but she wasn't expecting to see Padme with her daughter. She was outright alarmed by their exhausted, dusty states as they stared at each other with obviously hatred.

"My children?" She demanded at once, hurrying down the stairs as fast she could. "What is going on down here? Are you two having a disagreement?"

"This is no disagreement," Padme replied in a voice so sharp it didn't sound like her own. "This is a fight and you're interrupting."

"Padme, what is the meaning of this? Maria?"

"She hates me because I'm a human," the human child panted out, pulling her lengthy hair away from her sweaty face but never taking her eyes off the young monster before her. "She said her brothers wouldn't ever shut up about what they were going to do about me because of that King Asgore's decree to the Underground. One of them wanted to kill me, the other didn't. So Padme said she was coming here to fight me, and no matter who won, the problem was resolved because I'd either stay here undetected or kill her and there'd be a good reason to turn me in."

"You made a promise to me, Padme." Her eyes were full of tears as she stared at the child she'd brought into the world, whom she'd loved and nurtured for so many years. "Hylidae, Darwin, and you swore to me that you'd keep my Maria a secret until I decided to make her presence known. Can you not uphold that promise despite your differing views?"

"I'm the only one who made that promise," the young Froggit croaked gravely. "I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me for this. Goodbye to both of you."

The room went dark and the mother who'd already lost four children surged forward, desperate to stop what was happening, but the FIGHT had truly begun now. She was forced to witness her human child weave in and out of attacks, light on her feet and even mindful not to have her tutu ripped. Her 'adopted' monster child was not as powerful as one of her parents could be, but the fight was nearly even despite the fact Maria never truly fought back.

It was a mistake many young monsters made. Even if they were not struck, they could quickly tire out to the point of near death if they did not rest up before a FIGHT and replenish their HP along the way. Time seemed to slow down as the practical Taddit dropped to the ground, her body trembling as she stared up at the human before her. Toriel held her breath; surely her child would never hurt someone who was so injured, so at her weakest point. Even if she was upset about being so unfairly attacked, she would never seek revenge _now._

Then again, Maria was always extremely clear about what she wanted.

"Please...Do-don't kill me..." The young monster whimpered. "My brothers...They'd kill you if stay here. B-but...If you show some MERCY, they'll leave you a-alone. You...can't...hate me...that much."

Even though she could not see her girl now, she saw the tension in her tight shoulders, the gripping of her fists. This young teenager had seen much pain in her life, and had endured much suffering from the world above. That kind of treatment made Chara hard on the outside, and cold and indifferent to those she disliked. But no child was the same. The goat monster had learned that after loosing so many, and it was now time to loose another.

"I do." Maria's voice was hard. "I came Underground and realized something: I can have a new life. A life where I don't have to take anyone's abuse, or unfairness, or anger. I wanted to fight back when I was on the Surface but I never caught the chance. I'm not passing it up anymore. Goodbye."

The kick was swift, cutting through Padme's weakened form, leaving her SOUL exposed for the girl to step on (and she did). The human child did not turn around to see her as she let out a weak cry into her hands, one so grief stricken she could not produce years. She was just as catatonic as her mother felt, moving forward in the corridor, trying to brush away the dust on her tutu. Silently, she followed the thirteen year old to the door, not finding herself flinching when the chill hit her. It was hard to feel anything above her loss and her shock, but she still had to act according to what she knew she undeniably felt about the human before her.

"My child."

She did not turn around. Toriel did not expect her too.

"You will need this."

Her purple shawl would provide some warmth against Snowdin's environment. Perhaps it as well as her strength, no matter how morally unsound it was, would keep her alive to find peace. She honestly wanted her too.

"...Thank you. I'm sorry."

If she said she was, then she was. Despite her not being the pacifism she wanted her to be, she was proud of her. When the door shut, she went back to the spot her Padme had fallen and collected the remains the best that should could. Just like the rest of the Underground, her brothers would have their decisions made.

 **...**

The past mattered. No matter how much anybody wanted it to not, it did, and Toriel could not change that, even for herself. But perhaps it was better that way; she continued to learn. She wanted to save the next human, but maybe it wasn't possible. She couldn't be okay with that now, but maybe one day she could be. Alone.


	5. Irresolution

They All Leave: Irresolution  


She wanted to provide a home for those who didn't truly have one. Because of this, she began renovating Asgore's old room in order to eventually open it up to other residents of the Ruins who were far less privileged than herself. She wasn't positive when the extensive renovations would be complete, but in the meantime, she decided to obtain a pet. After all, many citizens had them to combat loneliness, and the thought of anyone depending on her without any incentive to leave relieved a burden on her heart.

Toriel, lover of snails in culinary dishes, did not expect to adopt one as a dependent. But she did, and she loved him very much.

Her affection for him came by accident. She'd gathered several of slimy creatures and was cooking them for dinner when she noticed one was in sickly condition. She couldn't quite put what it was about him, but he seemed much paler than his companions, and the slime he was producing was discolored. Her tender heart went to him and the next thing both of them knew, she was feeding him various snail-friendly foods and keeping him a tank that would have contained fish on the Surface (at least that's what the Snowdin shopkeep told her.)

She wasn't sure what to name him- there was nobody left significant in her life that was alive- so she named him after the author of her snail facts book.

"You have positively converted me, Duke," she mused as she ate her loaf of herb-bread. "There are much tastier things to eat than your kind. Thank you for showing me the light."

Duke, of course, did not respond. But he was an excellent excuse to speak aloud without fear of judgement, so she found herself frequently singing to him and speaking with him as she carried out her tasks. In a way, she supposed she preferred him to actual interpersonal contact. Nevertheless, she continued to check the flower bed every day, and only cried occasionally for what she'd lost.

Perhaps the next child wouldn't even stop for her. They could always trek ahead from the Ruins and sentence themselves to their own death, and she wouldn't have to be involved. The childless mother wasn't positive that would do anything to ease the guilt she continued to struggle with, but it would likely allow her to be more detached from the concept of child murder. The new human could always be an adult, too, so they might not even need her. She simply would not involve herself and would hope for the best.

It really was for the best. She had to make herself believe that.

* * *

It was a boy, and he was not equipped to survive alone.

The first issue was that he was overweight. Toriel did not condemn anyone for their size- she and her ex husband weren't the most healthy monsters Underground- but no one could not expect to fight when they were extremely out of shape. He looked to be around Maria's age, or a tad younger, and he was dependent on a set of glasses to be able to properly see. He'd also been injured pretty heftily by as his fall; he was limping and leaning on the walls, and had gotten in several FIGHTS that left him wounded and bleeding.

She decided to compromise with her earlier plan; she would not ever speak with him or contact him directly, but she would give him supplies and food to ensure he could eventually leave. A part of her longed for him to simply stay and have no desire to proceed, because if that were ever truly the case, she could eventually reveal herself and they could finally be a family. The rest of her could not accept that as a real option, however, so she'd have to do her best in the meantime to be anonymous.

 **...**

It felt strange to sleep in her old room again. She'd enlisted in the aide of a few of her neighbors to replace Asgore's bed with her own, but the rest of the room had to remain in tact for time's sake. Patches where pictures had once hung covered the barren walls, and his desk sat vacant of his journal or quill pens. The entire place seemed as lonely as she felt, which was bitterly appropriate, but she did not like it. She originally wished to stay in her own room and merely open this one for the new child, but it did not have the window for her to slide through in order to survive without access to the rest of her home.

Her tensions seemed to rise and relieve when he finally entered. Through the crack in the door, she could tell he was in very bad shape, but at least some of the color returned to his face after he practically inhaled a pie. She was forced out of her hiding the second he began choking and gasping, eventually falling unconscious on the floor with his breaths ragged. She couldn't be sure what is was about a butterscotch-cinnamon pie that caused such a violent, dangerous reaction, but she vowed not to serve it to him again as she healed his HP.

02 out of 20. How had he even made it to her in time?

Seeing him at his weakest compelled her to stay. Surely he realized he would never make it alone, and that he needed her as much as poor little Tally did, maybe even more so due to his accident-prone nature. The knowledge that humans were simply not rational when they were determined to do something or otherwise filled her heart with sorrow, so much so that she wept quietly as she fled into the bedroom. Surely this would get easier with time. For her sake, it had to.

 **...**

Given his experiences with the Underground leading up to his finding her home, it didn't surprise her that he stayed locked away. He seemed suspicious when he found food every time he woke up, but he always ate plenty and 'thanked the void', which was essentially addressing the empty room by the name "The Void" and voicing his appreciation. She ached more each day to reveal herself, and by the end of the first week, she decided she would do so at the end of a month if he remained. Part of her wanted to wait a full eight weeks- that was around the time she stopped having abandonment issues with Akin and Maria- but she feared that would backfire into making him believe he had no reason to stay, so he might as well leave.

"Miss Toriel?"

Another visitor. Despite the Ruins being a well-meshed community, there were still children or older monsters who either did not know or couldn't be bothered to remember she was not taking many guests at the time. She left her reasons vague- if monsters like Hylidae or Darwin knew she was housing a human like the one that killed their sisters, there would be no stopping them- but at least the general public seemed to understand. After all, it was no secret she'd once been the queen and a mother to deceased children, so they seemed to expect her to withdraw occasionally to grieve.

She was halfway out of the window when she heard the front door open and her young guest voice a tentative, "H-hello?"

No. _No._ The list of potential candidates for the guest raced through her mind, filling her to the brim with dread and sorrow. She'd done everything she could bear to not get attached to this young human, and yet she couldn't tolerate the thought of this visitor slaughtering him in her own home. She could not go through with her plans if there was any chance of that.

"Why, you're a human, aren't you?!"

She was out of the room now with fire magic prepared in her paws, her eyes brimming with tears as she rushed to the front door.

"I-I..." She saw his wide frame standing there, sweat already staining the back of his shirt as he gazed down at the Froggit before him. "N-no, you must be mistaken."

"Oh?" She could recognize this Froggit anywhere, even as an adult; her precious Hylidae. "Then what kind of monster are you? Because you look _just like_ the human that was here a bunch of years ago, except you're a lot paler, and you have glasses."

"I-I'm a skeleton!" He sputtered suddenly, his plump cheeks flushing with color as she rushed into view. "M-Miss T...Toriel? I am, aren't I?"

His dark eyes were begging, but she'd made up her mind once more. "That is correct, Hylidae. As you can likely tell, he is very young, so I have been nurturing him for the past two and a half weeks. That is no crime, is it?"

"O-of course not!" He blushed profusely now, but it was fairly obvious that he did not trust either of their proclamations. She supposed she would be slow to trust if her sibling was slain in the house of the person making claims. "Look, I just came by to tell you the Royal Guard wants to start inspecting this area for humans. It's been a long time since Maria fell, so they don't want to waste time. King Asgore is saying that they need seven SOULS to break the barrier, so there's a bigger urge to find them faster."

"How barbaric. Do they not know that this area is secluded?"

"They do, but I don't think it's really the king's fault. I'm pretty sure this is one of those things privately operated, and I'm afraid there's no much any of us can do to stop it, so I thought you might want to emotionally prepare for it. They probably won't bother you if you tell them to leave you alone because you used to the queen and all."

Hylidae. He was always the softer of his brothers, always the more pacifistic, and the most gentle of the three children she'd nurtured. She owed him more than he could recognize.

"Would you like some pie before you go on your way?" She offered gently. "I would like to reward you for your thoughtfulness. We could all eat together."

The young Froggit before her hesitated, but he did agree with a small grin. "You know I can't turn an offer like that down."

Both young males were watching her as she prepared a butterscotch pie, as it had turned out that her young human child was allergic to cinnamon, but her mind was elsewhere. If a branch of the Royal Guard was to inspect the Ruins, she was going to have to hide the boy. After all, as foolish as she believed her former husband to be, there was no way he'd ever employ a group of naive young adults to work for him. They would never believe her fabrications as easily as Hylidae, so she'd lock her young guest away in the room under renovations, or carve out an area in the flooring. He would simply never be allowed to leave the home, and when they eventually gave up their searching, she would introduce him to everyone as a friend rather than a human.

"...Micah. I know it's kind of a weird name, but Mom always really loved it and Dad knew there was no arguing with her, so he made my middle name Melvin to 'make up for it.' Some resolution, huh?"

"Middle name? I've only had one..." The youthful monster didn't question it further, however, and Micah didn't press it.

"Hot off the fire magic!" She announced cheerfully as she placed the treat on the table. "You both with have to excuse me a moment; I must feed Duke."

"Duke?" Hylidae questioned. "I didn't know you had another guest. Maybe they should join us?"

"Oh, Duke is my pet snail," she explained at once. "I know it is a bit silly for someone who eats them on occasion to have one as a pet, but he was so sickly when I found him. I could not bear to let him die like that."

A flash of emotion sparked in the just-fully-grown monster's eyes and she hurried out to not have to face it. She may want to delude them all into believing they could every truly go back to the way they were, but it was no longer possible. If he ever found out the truth about Micah, he would never forgive her, so she merely had to ensure he didn't.

 **...**

"So you've been living here in secret all along?" Micah's expression was hard to read, but it seemed to convey sadness, shock, and a hint of feeling betrayed. "Why didn't you help me?"

"I did," she answered, her tone firm to keep her words from wavering. "I cooked you every meal you ate. I took note of the foods you did and did not like, and I provided my own bedroom for you to sleep in. I simply did not want to become attached to you if you were to leave the Ruins."

"Why would I want to leave?" His eyes lit up with surprise, which somehow did a lot to settle her nerves. "I've got it made here! I mean, all of the other monsters hate me, but why would I do anything to betray someone who's actually _nice_?"

"You must swear not to leave, then." She did not like appearing so coarse and even aggressive, but she was tired from her losses. She would not carry the burden of his departure as well, not when she'd done all she could to not be openly involved. "You must promise that you will not leave my home. You will live here as my child and not ask to leave, or attempt to harm any resident from now on. You will do as I say."

"I promise, Miss Toriel." The hug he engulfed her in made her heart feel heavy with catharsis, so she allowed the tears to begin falling as she gripped him back.

" _Thank you_."

* * *

It was around the eight week mark that the Royal Guard arrived, and to her horror, they refused to leave her alone.

"Mrs. Toriel, I'm afraid we have no choice." The guardsmen was heavily armored, so it was impossible to identify their monster type, but the fear and anger she felt overcame her curiosity. "We must inspect every home. It is your husband's will-"

"He is _not_ my husband," she corrected coldly. "And you are not to come into my home."

"Why? Do you have something to hide?" Another guardsmen paused from where he was inspecting the outside of her home and asked if their friend needed backup. "Not if the Queen will kindly cooperate."

She forced herself to remain calm as she stepped aside with a cold sideways glance after the intruder. Micah was safe, she thought in attempt to reassure herself. He'd been tucked away in the closet of Asgore's old room, and no royal guardsmen worth keeping would dare enter the king's quarters without explicit permission. He would not be discovered. They would discover it was simply an old woman's home, apologize for invading, and leave. Her child would be safe.

"Toriel! Toriel! _MOM!_ "

Nothing in her life was ever going to be absolute, not even with a promise from the child themselves.

 **...**

The guardsman- guards _woman_ \- was letting Micah go, but only if he ran.

The others had agreed on a checks and balance system. They were to report on different areas of the Underground on each round, so she would not be able to protect them further.

When she took off her helmet, she had tears in her eyes.

She knew that monster.

"Did you remember me, Navy?" The mother's chest was tight as she gazed at the fierce young warrior the once small lapine monster had become. "I...I helped birth your little sister, Magenta? Oh, you've grown so much, dear child."

"I do remember you." Navy gave her a sad smile. "Magenta's well on her way to owing the shop after our parents' fall down; she practically runs it now, anyway. Knowing you was why I wanted to come here first, just in case you had found a human...You've always been as nice as you were then, so I thought I could help you like you helped us, ya know?"

"I don't want to leave..." Micah's face was full of sorrow, a grief as heavy as hers had been for so many years. "M-Miss Toriel is my mother now...I'd rather stay here and die than leave her! I promised I wouldn't!"

She moved to bend down, to conjure some words to comfort him, but Navy dropped down more immediately and pulled him so he looked her in the eyes. "Little buddy, I know this is hard for both of you, but it's the only way. If you keep moving and hiding, it'll be harder for them to find you. All you have to do is make to the Barrier and you're home free, and I bet you can make a new life for yourself once you're there. You just have to keep going despite whatever happens."

Toriel knew he would even before he nodded. He was not very strong or skilled, but he had an undeniable spirit that was perfectly reflected in his royal purple SOUL. The odds are him surviving were low- they likely all knew that- but his ability to try was the only thing that made her feel like he had a shot.

"I'll miss you, Mom." He hugged her fiercely, but as she hugged back, she made her mind that she couldn't bear to watch him go like she had Maria.

"I will miss you too, my child," she voiced weakly. "But please...When you go, leave in the night. That way monsters are less likely to be awake, so you can get further by morning."

It wasn't a total lie, but she couldn't admit her true reasoning, even in the end. She was weak, destroyed by her losses and dishonest about facing them. Not only was she letting him down today with his knowledge, she was betraying the trust Akin and Maria had once instilled in her. She could not seem to decide what to do, so for now, she would simply do nothing.

"Thank you, Mom."

 **...**

He was gone in the morning, and she did not cry. She simply tidied up her home in silence, the memories of the intelligent young boy that had been roaming in her halls. Despite the specter of doom looming in her mind and heart, she was finally beginning to admit to herself she could have, should _have_ done more. When her sweet Asriel and Chara were alive, she put them first, not herself. The same was true of Akin and Maria, so the fact that she dared not do the same for Micah was a betrayal worthy of death.

She could not die yet, however. She had to leave to do better for the next fallen human, and besides, Duke gave her reason to continue in this life in the meantime.

Now that her crime had been committed, it was somehow easier to resolve herself. One might even say that she was determined.


End file.
